Turkey Trouble - A Thanksgiving Tale

Thanksgiving was arriving in one week! The farmhouse was bustling with excitement, preparing decorations, getting the food, giving out party invitations to their friends. Everyone was excited and happy as ever! Everyone, that is, except for one person, or should I say turkey. Pedro the turkey had many mixed feelings. Sad, scared, nervous, basically every negative feeling there was in the world! If things went the way they did every year, he would be invited to the Thanksgiving dinner. Except for the fact that he would be dinner! As he watched the farmer’s daughter skip over to the fence gate, a brilliant idea came to his mind. This year, Pedro was going to escape this dreadful place!

As Pedro paced and gobbled to himself about escape ideas, he saw a majestic eagle fly above the lowly farm. His tiny bird brain whirred into action. Should he find a way to grow wings? No. What about riding on a bird? No, he doesn’t know how to speak bird (The language is very complicated, so he just sticks to gobbler). What about building a plane? Yes, that might work. There were lots of wood and metal scraps around his bit of land. Pedro scoured around his turkey space and managed to find many pieces of wood and metal. Using his beak as the ultimate multi-tool, Pedro built a reasonable plane with the bent nails in the field. His wings pushed the uneven propeller into action. The minuscule flying vehicle whirred with uncertainty. Pedro hopped into the pilot’s seat and stepped on the ignition button. His fat wings, which were connected to the plane’s large and slender wings, were flapping helplessly, trying to take air. After a few minutes of back-breaking labor, the creaking machine fell apart. Feeling disappointed, he gobbled over to his pen, wondering how he would escape in only two days, six hours, thirty-eight minutes, and twelve seconds.

The next morning, a pesky squirrel dropped a few acorns on the snoring bird. Pedro angrily ran to the tree and scratched and flapped with all his might, but he could not climb up the thick trunk! Suddenly, he got wonderful inspiration! The confused rodent watched as Pedro wobbled awkwardly to his pile of scrap. As he dug through the rubble, the turkey wondered why the farmer always had to eat turkey, especially why, on the same day! Perhaps he was testing how to make roasted turkey, or seasoned turkey, or (gasp!) roasted and seasoned turkey soup! After some useless sifting, Pedro found the two rubber cords he used for the failing plane, plus some black fabric and a thin piece of metal. He used his feet(since he didn’t have arms) to tie, sew, and cut the cords and fabric to form a reasonable tree climbing suit. Pedro squeezed into the tight harness and looked down. His turkey fat was flopping over the harness, and his legs were scratching at the ground aimlessly. Pedro muttered some words of encouragement to himself and threw the first rubber cord to the nearest branch. The daring bird tugged on the first cord and threw the second. Soon, he was ready to climb. One step, success. Two steps, success! Three st….. Aaahhh! The poor thin branches were no match for Pedro’s fat turkey weight. He threw the makeshift harness back into the pile of rubble, and, without even making it all the way back to his bed, fell flat on the floor and started snoring.

Sigh! He was never going to escape the house in time! Pedro was going to die, with only one day of life to spare! Feeling hopeless, he decided to show his worthlessness by going over to the farm gate to sulk. As he gobbled over, questions raced through his mind. How would the farmer eat him? How long did he have left to spare? Why was he the only turkey on the farm? Pedro leaned his spine against the gate when he heard a pop. He tried to turn around, but he fell flat on his back before he could! The gate was open! Pedro inspected the curious scene and found a note on the open gate lock! It read:

Dear Pedro, my wonderous turkey,

If you are reading this, then congratulations! You have successfully completed the test of the presidential turkey pardon! This test was made by Mr. President himself in order to select a turkey for the annual pardon! Yes, you know what that means. You don’t have to be eaten! Hooray! The test was designed to attract only the most intelligent turkeys in the land. So far, in my power, no turkey has made it out yet. I hope you, Pedro, are smarter than Willy, Max, Martha, and Bob and have found your way out. Every farmer in the country, every year, unlocks their gates with a note like mine. Only the turkeys that are smart enough to come back to their root of the problem will be chosen to go to a luxurious turkey presidential reserve. I will be coming very shortly to send you off!

Sincerest regards,

         Farmer Joe

By the time he finished reading the letter, Pedro’s jaw gaped open until a fly flew into it. After he washed out his mouth, he still couldn’t believe his luck! At that very moment, Farmer Joe ran to pick up Pedro, smiling crazily.

Pedro was shipped off by Farmer Joe to Turkey Tam’s National Turkey Reserve. His cotton fluff bed and cool, sweet lemonade were more than enough to make him happy. There was also a lake, river, and creek for water fun, plus, Pedro’s favorite part, other turkeys! The happy group of fat birds sang and danced and slept to their liking, with top-notch cuisine food served at every hour. “Ahhh!” Pedro the turkey thought.’ This is the turkey life!’